Monday, September 14, 2009

I

It feels sometimes strange to know that every individual is so much different; every person who lived and will live is different from each other. At this instant, 2009, we are about six billion people. Well we were not so much ever. So given that a generation lasts, in average, about 50 years, and if in average each generation has about three billion people, then we have about 120 billion people since Christ. That's a lot of human beings, a lot. How many humans do we connect to in our active live- relatives, friends, friends of friends, relatives of relatives, colleagues, teachers, neighbors, and so on and on. Well, how many people do we connect to or know, to some extent, in our lives? A 1000 of them, maybe a maximum of about 5000. Let us keep an average of 1000 people. I know Obama is the American President but I do not know him, and so doesn't he. So, among them how may of them really matter? Maybe 10-20 or even less, 3-5. Well, sometimes, it comes down to just a single count. Me or I..... I. Well for some people, it's a very important word, for some it's a very funny letter, for some it's a very depressing word, for some, well, for many it's the way of life.

Just the ninth letter of the English alphabet, and it rules the world. I rules the world. A single I combines with similar I's and makes a community I, a group I and then a country I. And sometimes, when they see an alien movie, an earth I. And sometimes, when you need to help someone, I becomes You, only sometimes becomes a We, that too for the sake of I, not for You or for We in a true sense. When a baby gets born, there is no I. And one day, I comes to visit him. I tempts the, now, so called, grown-up baby. The grown up is lured into many delicacies like my, mine, me. Further with time, it gives bonuses of possession, belonging. But it also gives action, and urge. Gradually I becomes his best friend. He doesn't roam around with anyone, but I. Even if he's with anyone, he's with I. He hallucinates and dreams of only I. Then, I gives him a Christmas offer - Hate, Lust, Greed and Sin. And all these offers he sees as Protection, Love, Responsibility and Power. Gradually he becomes combined to I, so much so that there remains no difference. He recognizes himself with I and nothing else. It becomes like an obligation for survival. His songs sing praises of I, and his needs and wants become Superlative. With this misidentification of false I, he totally forgets Iself. The same Iself with which he used to laugh and cheer when he saw a bird flying, sun rising gently, or tides touching his feet. He doesn't even remember the time when Iself taught him to be happy, that happiness which twinkles in the eyes. But rather, he sees that happiness in the Power of I or the Lust of I.

And one day he gets really tired. Then he tries to call I, but he's not available. He becomes sick, and I doesn't answer. He gets into a lot of trouble, he cries for I to help. But no answers arrive, just silence which haunts like the realization of his greatest phobia. Then out of desperation, he starts to hate I, in this course, he starts hating Iself, mistaking Iself for I. He gives troubles to Iself thinking that he's troubling I but he doesn't realize that he's hurting Iself very much. Finally out of desperation, he tries to consult We, but he finds out that We also was a combination of I, just like a shiny diamond necklace, where no diamond knew harmony, but did shine. All this while Islef was trying to communicate with him or to arrange meetings with We, he knew would help. But he would neglect every signals. And one day Iself gathered all its powers and called I. Initially I did not come but after some time I came. It came with all his powers of hatred, lust, domination. But this time Iself was prepared. When he saw him coming, he just remained silent and with it made him also silent. He did not move at all. I came and launched a full attack form every possible angle he could. But he did not react, cause, he was silent and this silence Iself gave him. I tried everything and finally gave up. And as I was leaving, Islef opens itself and asks him to call I. Then when he called I, I came back, but this time, with his power of action and just action, nothing else.